We could spend a number of days and weeks talking about the different ‘people styles’ out there in our lives…but we won’t. Instead we’ll look at different people styles and different behaviours.
What are ‘people styles’?
Well, there are various versions on the market that categorise the way we react instinctively in different situations. Some have us as colours and some give us an over-riding word that describes us in those situations. Regardless of how we are categorised, it is our ability to flex that is the key.
All versions of the people styles categorisation that I have come across, have all shown that we can at any time, depending on the situation, move from one style into any of the others. However we usually favour one particular style. When we come across someone else who favours our opposite style, that is where we usually clash.
If we are all able to use all of the styles at different times and in different situations the real key to this is- as I’ve already mentioned – Flexibility. We need to understand and move our style towards the other person’s style to enable better communication to flow so that both parties can be understood better.
Now behaviour is a different thing altogether.
We build up our behaviours through positive and negative experiences; therefore we build up good and bad behaviours. We can change our unwanted behaviours by observing/obtaining feedback and recognising and accepting that we have certain behaviours. Once we recognise them, and only when we recognise and accept them, can we then catch ourselves saying or doing the unwanted behaviour and that’s when we can prevent it happening.
When we catch ourselves, we make a mental note and then start to change the behaviour as we are saying or doing it, until we stop saying or doing altogether.
Positive behaviours should always be praised if observed in others, as this is the way to reinforce good behaviours.
So when it comes to styles, we can be flexible if we understand and recognise the other person’s style then move towards that style ourselves. Behaviours, on the other hand, can be changed through recognition. And if you are not prepared to feedback to another constructively, or accept your own difficult to deal with behaviour, then it will never change, so don’t expect it to!