Acquiring assertive behavioural traits is one of the most effective characteristics that you can ever have in your life. Being assertive you are much more likely to get what you want when you want it and in half the time it would normally take. And the best part of all without treading on peoples toes!
- You take control of your life and surroundings.
- You allow others to take control of their own lives and give them room to move in awkward situations.
- Others respect you and you develop I high level of self respect too.
- There is less likelihood of conflict, anger or aggression being part of your life.
- It really encourages others to respond to you assertively.
- And most importantly you develop a very high level of self esteem as the aim is to live up to your own standards that YOU set yourself, rather than trying to guess or work to other peoples expectations.
There is an enormous difference between aggressive behaviour and assertive behaviour. Assertive behaviour has everyone involved feeling good and positive about dealing with problems and enjoying the encouraging environment whereas aggressive behaviour gives off negative vibes and uncooperative environments.
Developing Assertive Behavioural Style
- Always take both the credit and blame for your own behaviour and actions.
- Verbal statements should be practiced to give you confidence e.g. ‘the great thing about working with you is that you always listen…’, ‘I need your help with something that is troubling me…’ and ‘This isn’t easy to say…’ These phrases should feel easy to say in and said they way you would say them.
- Non verbal behaviour is just as important;
- Eye Contact – look directly into the eyes of the person you are speaking to
- Voice Tone – Slightly lower the pitch at the end of a sentence as this makes it sound like a statement as this strengthens your message
- Personal Appearance – Dress appropriately for the situation, ask if you don’t know or are unsure.
- Posture – Erect and relaxed, allows others to take you seriously.
- Gestures – should be relaxed moderate in size and fluid.
- Facial Expressions – keep them as neutral as possible as this allows your communication to be understood without distortion or misinterpretation.
Always prepare and rehearse when changing behaviours and make sure you make the changes a step at a time rather than trying to change it all at the one go.